I use to be the type of person who wanted everyone around me to be happy and would go the extra mile to make sure they were. I would usually put everyone else's happiness before mine, hence why I was a total people pleaser. I admit it, I just wanted people to be happy, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.
It got pretty bad to the point where I wasn't being honest to myself with the things I was doing. I was also digging myself into a financial hole. A good friend of mine's mother asked if I could get a guava cake for her sisters birthday, so my over achiever self did so, the cake was massive and cost about $45 dollars, I can't take money from people, so of course I didnt let her pay me back. On top of that I agreed to deliver it to Slc, an hour away from where I live, another $40 in gas...I am not complaining, just stating facts of the story. By the end of the favor I spent $85. I was so happy to help that it never crossed my mind I was spending my own money. Well, until my poor college self went to pay my rent I was $55 short, I was so angry with myself, cause I hate asking people for help, I had to embarrassingly borrow the money from my brother. As I look back on it, I would of never had ask my brother if I didn't spend the $85.
Am I saying I should of never helped her out, no never, I should of been honest with myself that financially I couldn't spend $85 at that point because I had rent,car and school payments that needed to be made. I should of taken the money she was going to give me, I was doing her the favor and if she knew I was going to struggle she would of been very upset that I didn't take it in the first place. This is just an example of the type of person I was. I worried more about making her totally happy, I ended up stressing out and not so happy in the end.
Well, thats how I use to be but after being screwed one too many times, I am revamping my people pleasing habits. I am not going to be selfish or greedy, I just need to make minor changes to ensure I am happy along with those around me. I need to tone my willingness to help everyone a notch down. Make sure my priorities are taken care of and if I have any extras...share them with those I love. It's been hard learning to say " I really can't do it" but the power of being honest with myself is crucial to my sanity:).
Minor changes go a long way.
Come what may and love it.
gotta do what you gotta do. you shouldn't feel bad AT ALL. & sometimes, don't be afraid to accept the payback. you deserve it :)
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