WOORRDDD!!

The past couple of weeks have been trialing....well I should say the past couple of months...but I have learned so much about myself and even other people. It's crazy how you learn so much from your struggles...I really think its because you HATE the feeling so much that you remember so well how you don't ever want to feel like that again. I know I have made mistakes in the past and I try to learn from them. Its definitely an ongoing process I am working on...but I also don't think I will ever stop learning from them.

One thing I learned and have come the realization of ...is this is that no matter what you do in life...many people not all (no stereotyping)... will always remember the BAD over the GOOD! You could save the world and people will only remember the mistakes you have made. You make a mistakes and it seems like people only judge you through those mistakes...they question your intentions and assume the worst. Every move you make is judge through the reflection of your mistakes. Life is HARD and sadly we as human beings make it so much harder for each other!!

It comes down to the POWER OF THE SPOKEN WORD...it can move mountains, change the world...but sadly it can even ruin homes and friendships. Words are like water to plants.....it can give life and nutrients, and on the other hand words are like knives...they cut skin deep and leave lasting wounds. It's a weapon or tool we all posses...


There has been a couple of incidents in the past weeks that has made me HATE words and all the negative things about it. I was approached by a very valid source, a special friend, that things were being said about me...my past, every mistake I have made in life and even some MADE UP stories. It amazed me that people care enough to KNOW so much about my life and share it with others to make me look bad and even ruin my rep... but it also made me feel sad that so much time and effort was put into "not liking me" I know I can't control what people say or think, that is out of my control....but it just goes to show how powerful WORDS really can be.

Like I said in my other blog...I only care about making those WORDS right if its someone I love and care about or it is going to effect them. I can't stop everyone from thinking or judging...but I am trying to make it a personal goal that the WORDS that leave my mouth are those that sustain and nurture life...Its a CHALLENGE but I am going to TRY! Gotta stay optimistic and POSITIVE! Like my best friend says "come what may and LOVE it"

 

DRA to the MA

Who likes Drama? hmmm I am pretty sure everyone will say "negative" to that one. I personally don't like drama, but for some reason I have a drama magnet on my left shoulder. am I feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim? nope...not at all. I know that I am not perfect....I have made many mistakes in my lifetime..if I could rewind time trust me I would. but I do truly believe there is a proper way of handling "drama"

I think drama is inevitable...everyone at some point in their life is going to get mixed into it...sad even the most innocent do too! I hate Drama and I have come to realization through a lot of my struggles that although its hard to avoid drama you can always make the best of it. in some occasions drama has to happen for people to get over things. Sometimes drama has to happen for people to realize what is important in life.

I don't like to be angry and most of the time I let things I hear slide...put it on the back burner cause I don't care. I have said this numerous of times to my close friends....I don't care what people have to say about me, until it is someone I care about saying it. if its someone I don't know and they talk about me...well I have no control over that (only effect it has is that it makes me question my actions and how I may be presenting myself to people and maybe I need to change certain things...its more of a reality check) The only time I care to sort out Drama is if A. I really did do something wrong B.If its a close friend who I have let in my life and knows how I am. C. If its Family D.if its going to effect people I love and care about.

Like I said before I am not playing the victim at all...I know sometimes I gotta GROW UP and take things as they come. I use to try to be EVERYONES friend...A PEOPLE PLEASER...and trust me it was so hard. I always did what people wanted me to do...almost living life for everyone else...lately I have been trying to do what I want...live for ME! Its been nice but it has also been VERY hard. I know I am not Perfect...and in most cases you are judged your whole life because of the mistakes you made in the past. Its so hard to breakthrough prejudgement...a person hears something about you and every move you make is judged through that predetermination of who you are as a person.

Life is hard...the lord knew that...but he also knew we could handle it! I try to keep that in mind, the lord will never give me anything I can't handle. DRA to the MA is the Adversaries KEY to separating us as people...he uses it to fill our hearts with hatred...jealously and anger...its the only way he can sustain his own life. I am not trying to get all gospel...but its the TRUTH regardless of what you believe. I am going to take everyday as it comes...if I do what I know is right...than that is all that matters.... DRA to the MA can't and won't stop me now....(LOL)

STAND BY ME...

Working for the airlines definitely has its PROZ...like for one I fly FREE...thank you! I work with some cool peeps, well all the Tongan guys who tell me stories about my dad and take me to eat when they don't "FORGET" their wallets. Its a love hate kind of job. I get a workout so that is good and I don't have to put on a fake SMILE for the bags! hahaha...the best thing is that I can go to work full on HASH BAH GASH! I don't need to do my hair, I wear my SEXY yet so flattering cargo pants and a button up shirt...I always say you can just call me "TOM" when I am in my uniform. Its a real chill laid back atmosphere....

But the CONZ...is when you need to get home to WORK... you can't because you are stuck flying STAND BY. So, I decided to stay a day longer than Sega and Evette cause I wanted to spend some quality time with my dad and maybe dance a little at PCC....ya well that decision has kind of screwed me over cause now I can't get out! I have been texting everyone...blowing up their phones...irritating the CRAP out of them to work for me! Its annoying me so I can only imagine what they are thinking.

Anyways, I am trying again tonight....but this morning was priceless....my two cool friends Pewa and Leise were so kind to get up at 6 AM to take me to try and catch a 7:55 AM flight to LA...well Leise was speeding and fully got a ticket, and than half way there I looked at the flight again and it looked HORRIBLE...there was no way I was going to get out, so we decided to go to Kailua and eat at "BOOTS AND KIMOZ"..it was so delicious. I am so hungry right now thinking about it!!

I HATE FLYING STANDBY...it SUCKS...but flying FREE I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

HA Breath of Life

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE POLYNESIAN CENTER CULTURAL CENTER'S SHOW HA "BREATH OF LIFE"

I have been so blessed to be apart of the Center officially since 2003 but practically my whole life. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to dance. My knowledge and ability to dance is because of the Center as well as my Tahitian group NONOSINA. I have been trained and taught by the best....I am so grateful!

I danced last night at the HA show, even with my ugly tan lines from playing volleyball earlier, and it was so nice. It makes me want to stay home and not go back to Utah. I was reminded about how much dancing has been a part of my life. I am truly happy when I dance! I can't wait to come back and dance regularly!

I was also blessed to take promotional pictures for the Center as well...Eleni is every where cause she is the pretty girl Mana wants to marry. I am just the mother (cause I am chubbier) so I have a fake belly and a picture with a baby.. its all good I count my blessings. But what is more cool is that they have a new bus and my sister is on one side and I am on the other. COOL huh! hahahha....I LOVE PCC!

HAWAII 5-O...

I learned and realized some amazing things on my trip home to Hawaii for the week. Its been such a relaxing meditative experience. I came with two of my friends for Ane Mapuz wedding to Marcus Salanoa. It was such a beautiful wedding, almost my dream wedding...haha! You could totally feel the love in the air...the spirits were high and you could really tell everyone was so happy for the couple.

Which made me come to these conclusions and realizations:
1. People will spend more money and put effort into your wedding if its in the temple
2.Your family will support and love you for marrying someone in the temple
3.The feeling of the wedding is so much fun and happier when you get married in the temple

These are very stereo typical assumptions of a temple wedding...but its true. There aren't as many hard feelings when you get married the right way.....which made me realize I want this kind of wedding. I want to marry someone who will take me to the temple....who can give me a HAPPY wedding with family members who support and love the both of us...I wouldn't want it any other way.

ENGAGED...last one standing

My BFF Teuila Oto just got engaged....that leaves ME...meaning everyone in our group of friends from High School will be married...except ME!...well this blog isn't going to be about me because YES I have accepted everything isnt about me "SAY YES TO TESS" hahahahaha!

Adrianne Galeai Finau and her beautiful family....Age is probably one of the funniest girls you will meet. She always kept us laughing and never failed to keep us smiling. She actually lives in Utah and I hardly see the girl! I need to FIX that....but yes she is MARRIED!

Aisha Ale Felesi is our go getter. You tell this girl to do something and she will get it done, we would always give her our stuff to sell for fundraisers because we knew she could sell it all. She has one little boy..Toni..who is gonna a heart throb....and YES she is MARRIED!!

Sachi Mamizuka Savaiigaea is the biggest HAWAIIAN kanack you will meet. She never betrays who she is and keeps it real. We were really tight in our younger days and spent like every moment together. Love this girl to the end. She has two beautiful boys and is a show stopper and YES she is PRACTICALLY MARRIED!!!

Leeann Mapu VolaVola...she is my RIDE or DIE girl! I don't know what I would do without this girl. She never fails to be there, shes always got my back through everything and always has a listening ear. I would do anything and everything for her...and YES she is MARRIED!!

Teuila Sianvi Oto....is the smallest middle school teacher you will ever meet. People mistake her for a student instead of a Teacher. She is so blunt, so whitty and so on it. She has her degree and a good job and just got ENGAGED...so weird. Teu is like a little sister to me, even though we are the same age I look at her that way. Love her to pieces.....and YES so soon will be MARRIED!!

AND THAN THERE IS ME...singe and HAPPY hahaha!! I am so excited for my friends and their marriages...they all better have lots of babies and name one of them after me! LOVE THEM ALL so MUCH!

Catching up....

So much has happened in the past couple of months...both good and bad. Wish I could change the bad, but I have decided I am just going to learn from it, let it go...and not dwell in it! I have a tendency to be really hard on myself when I make mistakes and most of the time stress myself out more than I need to. I think because I was raised with really high standards and high expectations, I feel like its the end of the world when I mess up. I am not very good at accepting mistakes at first, it usually takes me a really LONG time to get over it and learn from it, but once time has healed the wound I can move on like nothing ever happened!

I have made so many relationship mistakes....LIKE TOOO MANY! In the sense that I fall for guys who are technically not what I want or need in my life. Do I regret them...not wholly or fully, I regret my shortcomings and my inability to be better. I have learned so much from the not so successful relationships I have had...had to go through a lot of heartache and pain to get there....but in the end I truly do learn something.

I joke around all the time that I declare NUN status after every fallen relationship, and I actually really do in a sense. I totally take myself out of the dating scene and don't even want to be in it at all. I tend to devote my time to other things and get more involved. Its sometimes a GOOD thing cause I don't let things get in my way, but on the other hand I feel like I get so comfortable so easily...its going to get to a point where I am so comfortable...I DON'T GET MARRIED EVER!!

Not saying I don't want to get married, that is my ultimate goal....of course at the right time, in the right place and to the right person. I just feel like I am not going to get there if I continue on the road I have been on. I use to think I was Mother Teresa and I could save the world. I would date guys who I thought needed my help to be better, and would think I could help them make CHANGE. I wanted to be their guiding beacon, their foundation and motivation. In my past experiences...I have been those things, but when a person is changing for you and not for themselves, that change is not solidified...not REAL not absolute. The change has to come from their heart first, the mind next and than translated through the mouth and the hands.

I use to take their failures upon myself, when they failed or fell short I took the burden of failure upon myself in addition to my own pain and struggles. It was so unhealthy to be like this...like SUPERLY...lol! I avoid relationships because of this...because when I open that door and allow myself to CARE...I care WAY too much and struggle with closing that door.

Anyways, I am working at it...and this blog is getting way to long...hahaha! I look forward to the future and can't wait to find Mr.Right! In my special blessing...its says when I see and meet him...I WILL KNOW HE IS THE ONE....how exciting! Gotta be optimistic and have FAITH for the best!!!

I'm like a BIRD...

I have always loved  to TRAVEL....especially because I was spoiled dancing for the Polynesian Cultural Center promotional team for the past 8 years and have been traveling practically FREE. Like totally FREE...airfare, hotel transportation and even money for FOOD! 

I think its my calling in life to TRAVEL...haha cause now I work for DELTA and I still FLY FREE....LOVE IT. I have made some exciting trips in the past couple of months and probably irritated everyone to work for me while I enjoyed my lovely trips.

I went to Pittsburgh..for a STEELERS game...

 

 ARIZONA for a CARDINALS game...

FRANCE for a Montepelier RUGBY game...

HAWAII for my BFF wedding...

LA for some BFF time and NONOSINA practice...