ZUSHI!

I AM SO FAT RIGHT NOW...and HAVE BEEN ALL WEEK. I ATE SUSHI 8 TIMES THIS WEEK....MY BODY IS GONNA GET IT....its so hard to resist it! I feel like a fat rice ball its so gross....I mean its ok if I eat like this and I am working out, but its another thing when I eat like this and than go to sleep right after....no bueno whats so ever!!

I am really going to try and cut down, but oh my gosh it is so hard. I seriously get the worse cravings for it! I am gonna stop when I can't fit any of my clothes....UGH....lol! I am so FAT! For real I can't believe how much I have let myself go...I blame my last JOB hahaha JK...its my fault. I JUST LOVE SUSHI sooooo MUCH! :)

DAYS OF MY LIFE...LOL!

So this blog might be a little personal...so if your gonna say "DONT EXPLAIN UR LIFE" well....don't read this one than! :)

I was with a really good friend last night and she was telling me about somethings people had been saying about me...not really recently but has been rumors in the air for a while...like I said in an earlier blog I already know people have lots to say about me and I really don't care unless it effects the people I love and care about. Well, this has to be the best rumor I have heard in a long time...and trust me I have heard it all from me being pregnant..to having an abortion...to being a whore...a player and most of all a HOMEWRECKER. Anyways, I actually heard this rumor before from a friend who had heard it from a girl who well doesn't really like me too much (all the he said she said JUNK)....the rumor consisted of MANY untrue things and amazes me that a guy would go to the extent of including me in such a false fabrication...to maybe make himself look a little cooler...its pretty disgusting to me...and makes me really believe that GUYS talk like GIRLS!

The rumor was that I was in a wedding line....ran away with the GROOM, did stuff, and than got kicked out of the line....hmmmm sounds like a movie huh? Sometimes I feel like my life should be a SoapOpera...its just filled with so many stories. Most of the time it makes me laugh to hear these "MADE UP" stories...again I am far from perfect and YES a lot has happened in my life....but BY NO MEANS would I ever do such a thing.

I won't rant an rave about this cause its already wasted a moment of my time...just FREAKING CRACKS me up that people go to such extents to make a person look bad....I am a GIRL...I am SINGLE and I like to LIVE LIFE! If thats a CRIME...well...thats something only the man up above can determine:) I love my life and I love those who choose to be apart of the craziness...I appreciate my true friends who always have my back no matter what rumors they hear or how much people persecute them for being friends with ME! In my mind....HANG OUT WITH ME live a day in my life....and than if you have something to say...well by all means go ahead.

LOL I am not mad (I PROMISE:)) or is the post DRAMA....just some recent thoughts...so if you read it and understand...PROPS to YA! LOL>

COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT!

HUMBLED...

It has been a humbling couple of weeks. Lets just say I feel like I am slowly starting to get things back into place. I kind of fell apart for a while and BLAME no one but myself. I let LIFE get the best of me and kick me in the rear end a couple of times. The FUN has kind of ended and reality is knocking on my door. I have had a very HARD/SAD/HAPPY/EVENTFUL/PAINFUL/STRESSFUL/AMAZING year so far as you can tell from my randomness on my blogs. I go from SUPER DUPER happy to all of a sudden in this weird dramatic mood. Anyways, I haven't blogged for a while and felt like today was a good day to catch up.

I had my last night at Delta for the season, I will return in October, and it was bittersweet. I complained a lot about the job, but looking back at it, it really was a chill job. I guess I just always felt like I was wasting the day, but really a productive day to me lately is laying around watching TV and eating. I have seriously become so lazy because of my job on the ramp. Again, I blame no one but MYSELF for this one.

But as one door closes another one opens. I was offered a really amazing internship/job and it has been keeping me really busy. Its actually motivating me to get up and move because I have deadlines I have to meet. Its all exciting work and can't wait for it to take off. I will share more later, but pretty much its doing stuff I love to do, in a place I love and for people I have come to appreciate and LOVE!

Love....oh dear how the word has cause GREAT happiness and pain. Its been difficult, sadly I wasn't as smart as I should and could of been...regret a lot of my actions, but I know that I can only try to learn from my mistakes. I really became someone I didn't want to become. I hurt people I truly love and care about because I chose to be selfish. I chose to think about myself and the things I wanted. I failed to appreciate the people who really cared and were just looking out for me. If I could rewind, I would make it all better again, but what is done is done and I can only try to make the future better.

Life is coming at me fast and I know I need to take the reigns again, take control of my life...who I am...what I do and most importantly who I help! Its not about me...its about getting lost in helping others. I have always been a "people pleaser"and try to make everyone happy, but that kind of lifestyle doesn't last very long and ends up hurting someone down the line. I want to be better and forget about my wants and focus on the needs of others, work on not trying to please people for my own exposure, but to genuinely help them.

COME WHAT MAY and LOVE IT!

Hotel Holiday Inn....

My most favorite thing to do while staying at a hotel is SLEEEEEEP. I would seriously rent a room just to lay in bed and watch TV. I don't have to worry about making my bed, cleaning,washing my towels or paying the AC bill...hahaha. I love staying in hotels.

Luckily my favorite cousin/sister Liberty Afeaki got a job working at Springhill Marriott, so that means DISCOUNT rooms..can I get an amen!! Well, we decided to get a room last Saturday night so we could be close to the festivities of the birthday and wouldn't have to worry about driving back and forth. Our planned one night stay..ended up a week long in the hotel. We woke up every morning looking at each other saying....hmmm lets stay one more night....mostly because we were so lazy from staying up the night before! It was too much fun..both Lei and I got to spend some QT with our big sis Finau Afeaki and our other family and friends.

It was a week long of eating out...spending time together...sleeping all day and not even cleaning up after ourselves. It was actually kind of gross...hahaha! But we had fun!

Until the next hotel stay...(when I get money cause I am broke from this last extravaganza...no bueno)

Control Freak!

I have always been a "CONTROL FREAK"...lol! Just ask my mom!! I always like to have a hand in the things I am involved in. It has always been a habit of mine...(its probably super irritating to people I work with..LOL) I am working on being better about it and learning to sit back and chill sometimes. I have a tendency to get way too involved in things and catch myself trying to control everything. it gets pretty bad because I get so emotionally attached, I over drain myself trying to make sure things happen the way they should or atleast the way I think it should.

Anyways I am babbling on and on about it...so I realized its not bad to be a "CONTROL FREAK" if you know how to channel the desire to make things happen. Its ok to always want to be involved, but it comes down to learning how to control it and not letting it take control of YOU! I truly believe life is way too short to not get the most out of life...but that does not mean you have to drain yourself and OVERKILL! (which I am very GUILTY of) to make the best of it!

I want to ENJOY life and that means learning how to sit back and actually enjoy it. I usually feel like LIFE isn't going to move or progress unless I take control of EVERYTHING, well I am learning that my life is a gift I was given to take care of, nurture and enhance. I cant CONTROL everything and because of that I can't out do myself. I need to cherish my life like the lord intended me to! To take care of  myself as if I was a mother to a newborn baby. Life is way to precious to waste energy and time...so instead of being a FREAK about it...I gotta be a PRO...so instead of downing myself as a CONTROL FREAK I am gonna grow and develop into a CONTROL PRO (sounds dumb but OH WELL)

                                                                    COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT!!!