STABILITY...

Stability is my new favorite word....mostly because this is what I desire the most in my life right now. I been trying to be a lot more positive about the struggles I have been going through. It's been an ongoing process, I mean I know it will happen for the rest of my life...but just more frustrating right now. I have gone through a lot in the past couple of months...per all my dramatic blogs...hahaha! But I am finally making the treck back up the mountain....I slipped a ways down and kinda chilled for a while, but slowly I decided I need to get UP and keep it moving again.... here  are some of the challenges I have gone through and how I am trying to find the POSITIVE in the NEGATIVE...

I lost some really GOOD friends this year (no they didn't die) just lost the closeness and bond we once shared. I am a real push over when it comes to being MAD at people, I am not very good at it! I can't ever hold a grudge, and even though I may seem mad, I get over it really quickly and than just want to make everything right again. I usually apologize before the other person does, just because I hate being on bad terms with anyone...and even though it may not be fully and wholly my fault. I am also one who will go OUT of my way to make things right with people, especially the ones I love the most. In the beginning I was really depressed and sad about these lost friendships and would often lay in bed wishing I would of done things different and most of the time blame myself. I take a lot of pressure on, and really let it affect me and my emotions. Anyways....I can't change the way things have happened, I am learning to accept them and make the best of it. If I give all that I got to make it right and that person doesn't want to forgive me or let things go back to the way they use to be...well there is not much more I can do. I never give up, but sometimes space and time can heal all wounds.

I have been traveling a lot...both personal and for work...its been like this since my 10th grade year in High School. I mean don't get me wrong I LOVE to travel and see new places...but its been a little tiring lately! People always ask me why don't you have a boyfriend (besides everyone thinking I am a player/homewrecker/whore...you know the usual..LOL)...and my answer is...guys don't wanna date a girl they never see, who never knows where she is gonna be till the week of and can't say put! I am at that point in my life where although I love to TRAVEL...I want STABILITY! I want to finish school (I am a Senior and gonna be a Super Senior if I keep doing this)...I want this new business to take off...I want to have my own apartment again, belong to one ward, spend more time with my friends....build new relationships...and most of all DATE again! LOL! Is this too much to ask for...hahaha! I know people are gonna be like you little ungrateful brat...some people are dying to travel and get out and your over here complaining....NO like I said before, I love to travel and I am so grateful, I am just looking forward to the future STABILITY I am going to have in my life.

This blog is getting a little too long, but thats just a few of my struggles I am trying to find the POSITIVE in! Its a challenge...but I LOVE CHALLENGES...bring it on. I miss my lost friends and I really hope all is well with them, they know how much I care and appreciate them, but sometimes things like this happen to make you realize what and who is important!......

COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT...