HUMBLED...

It has been a humbling couple of weeks. Lets just say I feel like I am slowly starting to get things back into place. I kind of fell apart for a while and BLAME no one but myself. I let LIFE get the best of me and kick me in the rear end a couple of times. The FUN has kind of ended and reality is knocking on my door. I have had a very HARD/SAD/HAPPY/EVENTFUL/PAINFUL/STRESSFUL/AMAZING year so far as you can tell from my randomness on my blogs. I go from SUPER DUPER happy to all of a sudden in this weird dramatic mood. Anyways, I haven't blogged for a while and felt like today was a good day to catch up.

I had my last night at Delta for the season, I will return in October, and it was bittersweet. I complained a lot about the job, but looking back at it, it really was a chill job. I guess I just always felt like I was wasting the day, but really a productive day to me lately is laying around watching TV and eating. I have seriously become so lazy because of my job on the ramp. Again, I blame no one but MYSELF for this one.

But as one door closes another one opens. I was offered a really amazing internship/job and it has been keeping me really busy. Its actually motivating me to get up and move because I have deadlines I have to meet. Its all exciting work and can't wait for it to take off. I will share more later, but pretty much its doing stuff I love to do, in a place I love and for people I have come to appreciate and LOVE!

Love....oh dear how the word has cause GREAT happiness and pain. Its been difficult, sadly I wasn't as smart as I should and could of been...regret a lot of my actions, but I know that I can only try to learn from my mistakes. I really became someone I didn't want to become. I hurt people I truly love and care about because I chose to be selfish. I chose to think about myself and the things I wanted. I failed to appreciate the people who really cared and were just looking out for me. If I could rewind, I would make it all better again, but what is done is done and I can only try to make the future better.

Life is coming at me fast and I know I need to take the reigns again, take control of my life...who I am...what I do and most importantly who I help! Its not about me...its about getting lost in helping others. I have always been a "people pleaser"and try to make everyone happy, but that kind of lifestyle doesn't last very long and ends up hurting someone down the line. I want to be better and forget about my wants and focus on the needs of others, work on not trying to please people for my own exposure, but to genuinely help them.

COME WHAT MAY and LOVE IT!